An open letter to the person from Ohio who bought 9 copies of Marital Bliss on Amazon last week.

Dude, you just bought nine(!) copies of Marital Bliss. That’s insane. You are now the official current record-holder for most copies of Marital Bliss sold to one person on Amazon. All I know is your first name and the city where the games were shipped. It’s probably for the best that Amazon obfuscates your contact information from sellers like me… else I’d send you flowers or something.

Anyway, since I can’t contact you directly, you might like to know that there’s been more than one conversation in our house about what you’re going to do with nine copies of our game. Here are the current leading theories:

  • Wedding gifts – My top theory. Seems totally plausible that you’re getting married and think that Marital Bliss would be a fun gift for your wedding party or attendees. Bonus points if you give them the game in advance, so all the couples are actually playing the game during your wedding! Also (if this theory is actually true) Nicole and I send you a heartfelt congratulations!
  • Christmas gifts – Nicole’s top theory. We’re starting to see an uptick in sales in advance of the holiday season, and inventory may end up being tight by the end of the year. It would be a good idea to stock up now. On the flip side… you must have a huge family.
  • Black-Market Sales – Maybe you bought the game to resell. I hope not. Just shoot us an email next time. We’ll be happy to give you a bulk rate and save you from giving Amazon more of your hard-earned money… it’s not like they need it. (Just kidding Amazon overlords, we love you. Please don’t de-list our game.)
  • Pro-Ohio Businessman – As a fellow Ohioan, maybe you’re just a big fan of Ohio-based companies making great products in the good ‘ol USA. Huzzah! Suck it, China.
  • Polygamy – It’s true, Marital Bliss is a game for all couples. You do you… but playing nine concurrent games with nine different spouses sounds like a logistical nightmare to me.
  • Bookmarks – There are a few books sprinkled throughout the Fink house with Marital Bliss cards marking their pages. With 9 copies of the game, you should be able to keep your place in 1,080 different books at once! Now that’s multi-tasking.

Feel free to drop us a line and let us know which of these is on the mark. One of them has to be right… right? On the off chance that you’re reading this and you’re NOT the person who bought 9 copies, let me know in the comments what you would do with 9 copies of Marital Bliss.

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